Hmm. Failing. Not Quite Giving Up.

So, I got sick over the weekend. Sick + Six Month Old + Sixty Hours Worth of Work that needs to be done at my job= No blogging.

Basically, my life is winning in this round. It's all wonderful and exhilarating and I couldn't ask for better. But still, I'm getting sick frequently and falling further behind at work. I think it's because there's more work than one person can do, but maybe it's just because the person trying is me.

As I say, things are really going pretty well, just tiring and sometimes overwhelming. Calamity is a charmer, and is generally loving and happy. She just sprouted her first tooth, by the way. Which of course means more fretting and up nights more. She's taken to getting up every couple of hours to nurse--hard on a full-time working mama, but I know it's what she needs for comfort, if nothing else.

We've got a sporadically recurring tear-the-house-apart project to continually cull and revise closet and furniture layout to make more living space and keep from being buried.

By the by, here's what we've got on the baby stuff front. I'm fairly proud of keeping it to what I consider a minimum--no bouncies, no rolling command central thingies, no lights and whistles. And it's nearly all thrifted, handed down or borrowed. But still, it's a lot of stuff:

a highchair
a crib
a backpack
a couple of soft cloth carriers (Moby and Babyhawk, if you care)
a rocking chair
some soft toys
some wooden toys
a changing pad on top of the dresser
a little rocking baby seat thing that she's really outgrown and we haven't gotten around to passing along
a moses basket on a rocking stand that she's really outgrown and we're in denial because we love it so
a mini-cosleeper that we've already passed on to another family

It's not that much, really. The crib's in the bedroom, the tall dresser's in the hall, the secretary dresser's moved into a closet that will eventually be Clem's little sleeping hideaway, with a futon on the floor. The highchair replaced a grown-up chair and the basket rocker sits in an alcove in the kitchen. It all fits, but not without effort and planning. We're in a 592 square foot apartment and we're quite cozy.

And even though I've failed at NablopoJuly and daily food posting, I'll make sure to get a food bit in here. Tonight we had a quick broiled salmon, some steamed green beans with basil and garlic, and Moroccan potato salad for dinner (potatoes, black olives, cumin, paprika, lemon, olive oil, red onion). And fresh raspberries and blueberries plain for dessert. Delicious. I'm determined not to devolve into snacky eating habits, and do my darndest to cook a real, good, healthy dinner at least every other day. The in-betweens tend to be slapped-together burritos, hummus/pita sandwiches and the like. But even those include home-made hummus and cooked beans from dried. I've not been making homemade salsa because we don't usually have local tomatoes, and because I'm lazy.

Calamity ate green beans for dinner. She loved them the most of any food yet. Others of which, for the record, have been: applesauce, banana, nectarine, cantaloupe, zucchini and carrot. She's also getting the hang of feeding herself with her little wooden spoon, though lots of it ends up in ears and hair.

We're going home to Virginia later in the week, and there will be a gap in blogging. Unavoidable. Mom's not on Internet at the moment. We're looking forward to the break, and to seeing all the family, including a new niece, 8 weeks old or so. It was kind of a last-minute change of plans, but I can't wait.

Spooning

I have this beautiful post in my head, complete with a well-lit art photograph of the spoon Kolya carved today to feed his baby Calamity Jane.

We had been trying this baby-led weaning thing, wherein we don't offer any food besides breastmilk for the first six months (check. That was easy. Feeding a baby actual food is way more of a pain than just popping her on for some lunch.), and then offer her foods that she can pick up and feed herself, with the idea that she will develop habits and attitudes about eating food when she's hungry and having control of what she consumes, etc. etc. Sounds cool. And I'm always up for doing science experiments with my kid (of the harmless variety). So I gave it a shot. But anything she can gnaw on and actually ingest without teeth is just too hard for her to get a good grip on. And she seemed generally not very interested. So we let it go, and don't even bother to offer her foods for a day or two and then try again now and again. She's getting plenty of nutrients and calories from breastmilk, so she's fine. We'll wait.

But Kolya decided we should try some mashed up food, trad-style, and I said okay, but I want to get a wooden spoon, because I see no reason for her to have plastic in her mouth (or in our house) if there's an alternative. So Kolya decided to make one. He pulled a piece of board out of the closet this morning and started cutting it down. I was skeptical and vocal about it. I wondered whether that kind of wood would have splinters, or whether he'd be able to cut a spoon small enough without breaking it. Basically being a sucky partner and for no good reason.

When I came home from work, he showed me his handiwork. It's beautiful and smooth and I can't wait to try it. But hte food-grade oil needs to cure overnight. So we ran some nectarine through the grinder our friend Sara handed down to us and gave it to her in an iced tea spoon. (Do people not from the south call them that? You know, the long handled ones with small bowls?) She loved, loved, loved it. She made the most sour-puss face with each bite (it was kind of sour) and then ate more and more. And she grabbed the spoon and pushed it in herself, so she was in control of what went into her mouth, so there.

What whining sound?

When I'm home on a mondaythroughfriday day, for whatever reason, I like to visualize myself at my desk now and then. Just so I get the full appreciation of being here and not there.

Jesse Helms died today. Yay. Finally. I can't believe such a racist, homophobic and anti-art bastard got to die on Fourth of July. (He now shares a death date with Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. What a joke.)

We're having a quiet morning at home today, complete with trying to see who can longest ignore the fact that the baby in bed with us is awake and wanting attention. We play this game most mornings. Unfortunately, I have the magic milk makers, so I usually lose, knowing that we all win a little if I just feed her and we all doze off for awhile. Kolya got up and made some super yellow eggs with the last of the drying up mushrooms and some spinach leaves. Side by side with the rainier cherries and a not-local and not-sustainable, but organic and free trade banana, which I shared with Calamity. She really doesn't care about food, not at all. So she squashed it around on her belly and that was pretty much that.

Today is a day with no plan. I like it that way. So far I've recycled paper that was cluttering up the living room, and hope to continue the spontaneous tidying I've started. (Stopping to blog is not likely to help with that ...) then it's cookie-baking for DeShaz and La Suze and Tobey and new baby Wilkie.

Since this is a food NaBloPoMo (which I'm not officially signed up for, if that's even how it works), I'll say that I'm hurting for a farmers market today. We're nearly out of food, and even gave in and bought broccoli and bok choi at the supermarket yesterday. (hanging head in shame, as it's July and there's no call for that).

In other news, we've cooked seriously good meals all week. And there's still a frozen rabbit pie with spring vegetables from last week's market. I'm not sure whether to thaw it before cooking or just stick it in the oven. Advice?? (SHG, since you're my sole reader!)

Calamity Jane Is Not Your Darling

Go to this blog, and replace "Chuck Norris" with the real first and last name of my daughter, and pretend it's the blog I designed in my head this morning.

I was talking to Kolya about the hilarious blog we could create if we were willing to use our daughter's full name on the Internet, and it would all be about how tough she is, and people could add to it with all the "CK will kick your ... " sentences. It would become an internet sensation overnight.

And then he said, "You've seen the Chuck Norris blog, right?" And proceeded to run in the other room and read it to me. Curses, foiled again. It was a brilliant idea and a blog about my baby daughter the badass would have been funny. Oh well.